me introducing myself on the first day of school:
I AM SO EXCITED TO WEAR SWEATERS AGAIN
how would you even start sex like kiss kiss oh ok look im inside you
wipe the cheeto dust off your sweatpants and go outside wtf
*university voice* unfortunately… we have too much money… so we have to raise tuition so we can build a place to keep all the other money in… so sorry unavoidable
"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"
"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"
"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"
"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."
"Hit me I feel like a failure anyway"
it’s time for everyone to realize how cute i am and give me the endless amount of attention i deserve